Ignorance...

I had to share an experience I had with you guys. As you all know I have worn my hair natural for a good minute now and I love it, it just fits me I guess. I was assigned to do research at my college for credit towards my Pychology class. I have done a couple and was looking to complete my last one when I found a study I was really interested in that required electrodes to read your brainwaves. Cool, huh?!

I contacted the lead researcher and made sure that I qualified to participate and that I met all requirements in preparing for the study. When I arrived for the experiment and was introduced to the team they notified me that they would not be able to use me in the study because the electrode cap they had avaiable would not fit over my hair and they gave me a credit towards my research hours just for showing up. That's all well and cool, right?

Well... no. I was checking up on my credits for class when I saw that a note was placed by the researcher. "Hair too unruly... but did show up". What?! Really?! I couldn't directly respond to the statement in fear that the Tara Franklin circa 2003 would show up on the email with a lot of "stereotypical" angry black woman symptoms. So I slept on it and the following was my reply:

Hello ANONYMOUS,

I would like to say thank you for taking the time out to explain the ANONYMOUSresearch to me because it truly is an interesting subject as well as granting me the 1 credit though I was unable to participate in the study. I do have a problem and request that you change the wording of the comment you left on my credit information page.

The definition of unruly is not readily ruled, disciplined, or managed (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/unruly?show=0&t=1342804777) and includes the synonyms defiant, incompliant, disobedient, and wayward, all with negative connotations. When I arrived at your office, my hair was none of these things. I knew and understood the procedure and prepared accordingly to ensure that my hair met all the qualifications for the experiment. My hair was completely detangled and my scalp was readily accessible for the electrodes. "Hair too unruly" does not show the effort I put in to be prepared for your study, sends a negative impression to my professor who I must turn this form into, and for an African American woman on a path of self-love and self-worth this statement could be quite damaging. 

Because you are working in the psychology field and it pertains to your study, I believe it is important that you know this. African American women have been ridiculed, by others and within their own race, over their hair and have gone to extreme lengths at times to avoid it by using dangerous chemicals to alter their hair to fit into an Anglo view of beauty in society (for more info if your interested you can view the movie Good Hair directed by Jeff Stilson). For someone who has recently made the choice to discontinue using chemicals to improve her health and maybe her own insecurities of self, I hope you would see how the statement "too unruly" could discourage her, increase insecurities, and could cause a relapse and use of chemicals again. For a more "seasoned vet" as myself (I wear my hair similar to the way I came to your office daily) it stings but I understand that it was not out of malice, but out to lack of knowledge about this cultural issue. Though I'm quite sure that if you called a curly hair Caucasian woman's hair "unruly" she may have been a little offended too.

As far as the research your conducting goes maybe the need to notate that majority of African Americans will be excluded from the study should be made or a future modification to be able to include the population into your study. Even for women who chemical alter their hair to be straight, majority would not wash their hair the morning of as you requested due to the time it takes and the process. So that on top of requesting no sew-ins, no braids, no dreads, no cornrows, no "voluminous" hair, etc. kind of shuts out the African American female population. So maybe the study should only ask for participants with short or naturally straight to loosely curled hair.

Once again I ask that you change to description of my hair left in the comment section. Some ideas (i know it hard because I myself just call it big), "too full", "too voluminous", "unable to modify equipment to fit designated areas over hair" or any other comment that does not put a negative connotation on the participant and their personal appearance. Just as you may love your beard, I love my big hair and though it may seem "different", different isn't always a bad thing. Truly no hard feelings, I am open for dialogue if you or any members of your research team have any questions or concerns, and I believe that this event served it's purpose and added a cross-cultural point of view that you may apply to your studies and personally. Thanks again for reading, and I hope to hear from you soon about the changes to my credit information page.

Respectfully,

Tara

I didn't decide to post this for affirmation from everyone that I am beautiful, that my hair is beautiful, because that's not up for debate (I know i'm FAB-U-LOUS, LOL!) but to encourage everyone to speak up and not let things slide. You can take a stand for yourself without falling into a category (sterotypes), taking things personally (effect self-esteem), but instead acting in a way to educate others to irradicate the ignorance that fills the world. I have some pretty diverse friends I would like to say, and if they ever had a question about my hairdentity (hair+identity, yes I made it up! don't steal it!) I hope that this answered it. Love you guys and until next time, STAY BLESSED!!!

How would you have handled this situation? Let's talk about it!

In The Beginning...

I wrote an essay for a scholarship about my natural hair story. It kind of sparked this whole idea of this blog so I would like to share it with you!

       My hair story starts off where most little black girls’ do. Stuck on a pillow in between my mother’s knees holding me still with all the strength in her thighs as she raked the comb through my “knotty, nappy, relentless, unmanageable, makes no sense how...” hair. Mothers hit a breaking point where too much squirming and crying on top of 5 broken blow dryer attachments and 7 toothless combs equals a nuclear meltdown. “I give up! You’re getting a perm TODAY!”

As a little girl, a perm meant being beautiful. Not only would I look like my mother, but I would be just as pretty as the little girls on the Just4Me box. I would fit in with my friends at school, who by fifth grade, were veterans at the hair salon. I hated my puffy braids that would unravel by lunchtime, knowing another late night session of greasing and styling was ahead of me. That all changed after my first relaxer. The feeling of walking out of the house after 4 hours of frying my hair to silky perfection was indescribable. I walked taller, the sun was shining, and the wind was gently blowing just for me. I felt like a movie star.

As a teenager, I became the long hair girl with the side part and the swoop to look just like Aaliyah. By the time I reached sixteen I began to wonder, if I am always trying to look like someone else, then what do I, Tara, really look like? I learned how to cornrow and began wearing them just to change my look, but I didn’t feel the same confidence as before with my long flowing hair. The one time I did try to step out of the box with a roller set I was met by my peers disapproval of my large, fluffy hair and I immediately went home and demanded the curls be ironed out. It was then that I began to allow society and others view of me guide my hair decisions. Curls were forbidden and if my hair was more than beveled at the ends it was brushed out and wrapped up for a better tomorrow. In my world, the straighter my hair was the better.

Towards the end of my high school days, the itch to find my hair identity returned and I began to beg, literally, for someone to cut my hair. I was met with exasperated looks and questions of my sanity because only a fool would want to cut off a long, thick mane like mine. So I would walk out the salon with the same, safe side part and the joy I use to feel after a touch up began to slip away. It seemed as though no one supported my desire to define my own beauty, so everyone’s opinion overruled my own.

After my freshman year in college I had my first taste of change on my hair journey. I had my aunt pile my hair on top of my head and cut it off. It was exhilarating! To be freed from the chains of my hair. I loved my shorter hair and as it grew back I knew I would never be happy in my old identity again. It was then that I decided I was done with expensive relaxers that scarred my scalp and left me in pain. That emptied my already meager bank account and that made me feel like a drone to what we are fed that “beautiful” looks like. Once I made up my mind, there was no going back. People laughed and made sly comments, people told me how I would be so pretty if I “did” my hair, but I didn’t care. My hair was breaking, dry, and begging for mercy but I refused to go back and continued to apply perm knowledge on my transitioning hair.

Two years ago, I stumbled upon a natural hair blog by the name of CurlyNikki. That was the day my life transformed. Not only did I learn what I was doing wrong to my hair, I learned that I could make myself feel the same way I did climbing out the chair after a fresh perm. I twisted and braided, bantu’ed and roller set, and fell in love with my hair and myself at the same time. I found what made me special, what made me happy, and most importantly, what Tara looks like.

Has going natural helped you find your inner fierceness, beauty, peace? Let's talk about it!